Happ...er...it's World Leprosy Day! This day really is a double whammy of bummer mainly because WLD was chosen as a day for leprosy awareness and to commemorate the death of Gandhi. (Cheery, huh?) Leprosy a.k.a Hansen's Disease has been plaguing humans for at least 4,000 years but thanks to modern treatments patients can become noninfectious within 2 weeks of treatment. (Thank god.) Now, I have no clue what to do for World Leprosy Day. I don't plan on loosing a limb or taking a bath in virgin blood and finding a jar of chaulmoogra oil seems pretty improbable. I'm fucked. Let's all be extremely thankful to not have leprosy but take some time today to get a better understanding about this disease and possibly find out ways you can help support the fight against it. I know I will. "The More You Know" *shooting star*
OK, happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Happy Inane Answering Message Day! I've seen some descriptions of today's holiday as a day set aside to change, shorten, or replace your own annoying answering machine message. I've also seen it described as a day to just call someone and leave a message with no real direction or forseeable resolution. I'll be doing both today, in some form (meaning my outgoing message will just get more inane), and with video evidence capturing all the inane glory. The answering machine, now on the List of Threatened and Endangered Species in the continental U.S, was invented in 1931 by William Schergens as a way to spy on his wife's phone conversations (she was a whore) but wasn't offered commercially until 1949 for the "low" price of $200. It gained real retail success in the American Psycho 80's, when people were apparently too busy to answer the phone but had enough time to do blow off a hooker's coffee table, or her ass. Today, harken back to a time when answering machines weighed more than modern refrigerators and you needed reel to reel training experience to get that day's calls. Go now and leave someone an inane message or create an outgoing message for all to "enjoy."
Happy Oatmeal Month Observance Day! Created 200 years ago by that guy on the box, oatmeal cereal or stirabout as it's called in Ireland is a "tasty" breakfast treat made of...well you guessed it, oats! Actually, oat groats, but that sounds just awful. I LOVE the smell of oatmeal but the taste is a different story and not really so much taste but consistency. It's lumps of oat groat, mixed with some artificial fruit shit (shit=substitute), and passed off as "tasty." Blah, blah, blah, it's healthy. Yuck. I'll eat a bowl today and with a shit eating grin tell you how wonderful it is but inside I'll die a little. Mmmm oat lumps. I know millions of people, including my wife, love oatmeal and that's fine but the groat is not for Totes. If you love oatmeal you can love it more today and if don't give it a shot and maybe your mind will change or you'll vomit. In the end the consistency won't change. Enjoy! I guess.
P.S. One week down and too many to go. Much success and some failures so far but that's a ratio I'll keep working on. I hope everyone (all three of you) is enjoying the blog so far and hopefully my writing has been and will contiue to improve. Cheers!
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