Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Scientology, Writing With My Left Hand And Burns' Nicht

Well, it's everyone's favorite holiday again: Criminon Day! That magical day of the year when Scientology once again tried to make the world a better place, reforming criminals with the teachings of L. Ron Hubbard, but only managed to draw more criticism and jeers from the scienctific world. Not that I'm standing up for Scientology but one of the main complaints, by the scientific establishment, against Criminon is that it's used as a recruiting tool. Have these folks ever heard of AA? That wonderful program that makes being a Christian damn near a requirement to be successful in the program. OK, enough bitching. Now the Criminon program does have its faults, such as the belief that all psychiatric counseling and medication must be stopped (bad idea), but the major rules including: do not commint crimes, do not do drugs, do not cheat, and do not murder, sound like pretty reasonable advice for someone with a history of convictions. So go forth, readers, find a convict and teach them The Way To Happiness (Copyright L. Ron Hubbard and The Church Of Scientology). Legal Disclaimer: Do not go forth, find a convict, and begin reading scientology to them. Seriously. Just don't.
Our second celebration today: Opposite Day! Try writing that check for 1 gallon of milk with your opposite hand, drive on the right side of the car (left side for our UK friends), tell your kids they can go to work and you'll be home watching TV all day, or simply put on the other sock first (my fellow compulsives know how hard that can be). I'm currently drinking my coffee with the left hand and it's a "whole new world..." out of my comfort zone and into the ether of beverage consumption. (Aladdin reference courtesy of the Disney Co.)
Finally, finish out today with a Burns' Night or Burns' Supper! Today is the birthday of Scot poet Robert Burns, Mr. Auld Lang Syne himself. Fire up the haggis, whip up some tatties, and make merry with fellow lovers of Burns' poetic writings. I'll be posting a video later of my very own Burns' Supper with haggis included (not really haggis being I'll only eat poultry but I'll fake it), poetry reading (read from a large old book to make this look professional), and traditional live bagpipe music (OK not really "live" but none-the-less traditional). In advance I apologize for poor video quality and a most likely shoddy production since this will be my first video blog and I'm just diving in head first and hopefully not drowning. Let's sit together, digitally, and have a Burns' Supper that can only be called "...the best. Around!" (Karate Kid reference courtesy of Pat Morita and that band. Whoever they are.)

No comments:

Post a Comment