Due to Data Privacy Day and the concern for protecting my "importants" today's post can only be read with a decoder ring and key (See bottom of page) OK, now that the hackers are gone we can move on with today's post. Hackers or their scientific name, dickheadeus annoyicus, are the reason for this season and I'm sure we've all had run-ins with these "wonderful" creatures. Your Facebook page becomes a dumping ground for "OMG I can't believe you did this last night" videos, you get emails from the Duke of Liberia asking you to loan him $1K for a $2M return, or you get that pleasant call from the bank asking if you just purchased a Ferrari in Santa Monica. Whether it be embarassment, annoyance, or straight up theft no one likes to have their shit become someone else's shit (shit=data, again scientific term). Take a few minutes today and update your passwords, run some virus scan and malware finders, and help keep your shit, your shit.
Now on to one of my favorite meals/topics: National Soup Month Observance Day! Ever since being a wee lad I can't think of a time when I didn't like soup and honestly, who doesn't? Having such a variety of flavors and styles there is no denying that soup is one of the staples in any diet. Having a really good bowl of soup is like getting the Midas Touch and for the next day BMing 14K pendants, it's like Mjollnir thunder booming your "tonguescape" into flavor submission, or as if your mouth just won the Powerball of taste for $200M. No matter which creepy way you choose to describe a good bowl of soup, sit down today and enjoy this liquid wonder with a sandwich, salad, or just by its glorious self.
City: Albuquerque Mission: Kazoo. Happy National Kazoo Day! I need to find a kazoo, damnit. You'd think the Dollar Stores would have one. But, no. My mission today, I've chosen to accept it, find a kazoo and play that bastard. Once advertised as the "Down-South Submarine" by the Georgia State Fair (I couldn't make this shit up if I tried) the kazoo was patented in 1883 but the modern shaped kazoo wasn't patented until 1902. I like that there are actually pages describing how to play a kazoo and that it's not "blowing but humming" that makes it work. No shit! Here are some kazoo facts to stick in your brain jelly. National studies show that kazoos are not just for kids, clowns, and pederasts (those last two terms are interchangeable) anymore but that the "teen scene" is getting into the kazoo craze. If a kazoo is played properly in the wilds of Africa it can send elephants in hundreds of miles into a tusk filled orgy the likes of National Geographic have never seen. It's the National Instrument of North Korea and it's said Kim Jong Il had wonderful kazoo playing lips. A final fact: Kazooerotica is huge in the Netherlands (look it up). So, hopefully today I can find a kazoo, play a kazoo, and partake in the wonder that is the kazoo. And once more for good measure: KAZOO.
Data Privacy Key: a=a,b=b,c=c,d=d,e=e,f=f,g=g,h=h,i=i,j=j,k=k,l=l,m=m,n=n,o=o,p=p,q=q,r=r,s=s,t=t,u=u,v=v,w=w,x=x,y=y,z=7.
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