Not For All The Corn Chips in Ch...Puzzles In Chi...Wait...Tea In China!

Happy National Puzzle Day, planet Earth! Puzzles, invented by spiteful wives who later regret cutting up their wedding photos, are a wonderful activity for families or lonely pet hoarders to bring everyone (or the 47 cats and dogs) together around the table for a night of brain racking fun. I've always loved working on puzzles, being a common occurance growing up that in our house after everyone's long days we could relax and put together a 1500 piece puzzle as a family. (Not all in one sitting ,we weren't a household of Rainmen.) Having received a Darth Vader puzzle this past Christmas, I've been waiting for this day, to sit down and put that evil bitch together. I invite you all to shut the television/computer/Flutter down for a couple hours, give your mind a jump start, and watch all the pieces become one.
Maybe while your working on that puzzle (And you better be working on that damn puzzle. I know where most of you live.) you can celebrate today's second holiday. National Corn Chip Day! First marketed in 1961 Frito Corn Chips have become commonplace in households and are America's bastardized version of a tortilla chip. I've never really been a fan of corn chips and probably never will be but today I'll bite the nixtamalization bullet and throw down a couple of these rigid, rot gut inducing snacks. Here are a few corn chip facts for your brain mouth to chomp on: Invented by Jebidiah Frito in 1934 as a way to loosen his cow's stool, he found that in times of sparse food they made a digestable substitute for dirt. Like a fine bottle of wine, allowing corn chips a good 5 to 7 years of open air aging greatly increases their flavor. Masons have recently discovered that the proper mixture of 1:2:3:2 (that being Portland cement, sand, gravel, and Frito Corn Chips) greatly increases the life and rigidity of foundations. This new material is being used currently in the construction of The Freedom Tower in NYC. So whether your watching the Pro Bowl (sure), doing homework, or sitting down to celebrate National Puzzle Day today, pop a bag of this multifaceted "snack" and fill your tum tum with "awesome."
Last but not least, folks. Happy Hot Tea Month Observance Day! The second most consumed beverage in the world, behind water, this ancient beverage's earliest recorded mention is in the 10th Century BC in China but it's history probably dates back another 2-3 centuries before that. I could give you a lesson on tea's etymology, proper blending, healing properties, or its cultural significance but, no, I'm here to mildy inform and mostly entertain. (We all have Google, except in China, so go educate yourself.) Known as the "Wonder Liquid of the Orient" (that's going to get me in trouble eventually) tea has been used to make water not suck for over 3000 years. Once a drink of the Gods that flowed as rivers with banks of gold and diamonds through the Altar of Heaven, it was given to mankind as a reward for faith and service. Today, take this divine gift, put the kettle on, and dip your bag until the water is properly brown. (Sounds tasty, right?) One lump or two?