Happy Multiple Personality Day! I reckon that's some bulllshit holiday made up by a bunch of doctor q...Shut up, Stanley! I apologize for the interruption but that guy never knows when to quit. Now, after some research I wasn't able to find where this "holiday" came from or how to celebrate but that hasn't stopped me before. Probably because you're a fucking idiot. Stanley, shut the fuck up. The name of this holiday really isn't PC or correct considering we no longer call it multiple personality disorder but rather dissociative identity disorder. Sounds the same to me just all fucking doctored up. Jesus Christ, Stanley. Most people know that this disease causes a person to have two or more distinct identities or personality states that recurrently control that person's behavior. Can you put that in American, fucker? The language you're supposed to speak...in America. If not, you can just get the fuck out. Listen to me, Stanley. This is MY blog. Not your's, you illiterate prick. If I wanted the input of an alcoholic, horse fucking cowboy, I'd ask you. OK? Whatever. I've never known anyone with multiple personalities or at least if I did they only ever showed me one of them. I'll show you my multitude of penisality. Stanley, you son of a bitch. Fuck off. Being that it's also Brain Awareness Week no time is better then the present to re...Yee Haw!!! I'm taking over this page, shit brick. Holy fuck this is boring. Where are all the titties and horse videos? Give me that back, Stanley. Nope. Fuck you, kid. Aaahhh! That's right, bitch, you stay down. Now that I've dispatched Stanley we can move on.
Happy Brain Awareness Week Observance Day! I'm going to be completely honest with you and tell you I believe this is an event created by zombies. Think about it. Zombies don't like shitty, diseased brains but big healthy knowledge jigglers. They don't eat other zombies because zombie brains are frickin' gross compared to our's. Fresh, juicy, and full of the essential vitamins and minerals a growing zombie needs to survive. Now, you're probably saying, "But, Adrian, zombies are dumb and could never come up with such a fiendish plot." Wrong. Super zombies. Zombie forefathers. The OG zombies. The scientist who created this plague orignally intended to create an intelligent yet controllable army and workforce from corpses. The original lab zombies are higher functioning and capable of such things that our current street scrapers are not with their degenerated form of the disease. Zombies want us to play sudoku, read books, and learn new skills, all in hopes it will keep our brains healthier and tastier. Don't be fooled, my friends. The best thing we can do is rot our brains and maybe the Zombies will leave us alone. Or they'll just go for our intestines. Shit. Moving on.
Happy Play A Recorder Month Observance Day! It's third grade all over again. Why did everyone have to learn the recorder? Also, did everyone get the don't run with the recorder in your mouth speech? Ha, like that recorder ever left the house. I remember torturing my family as I slaughtered notes on that high pitched, instrument of death. Talk about evil plots. Sure, let's give kids the one instrument only slightly less annoying than a tambourine. Fucking teachers. Does anyone still have their recorder? If you do, play it loud and proud and hopefully the Dollar Tree still has recorders on the shelf so I can join you in the symphony of misery. Cheers!
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