Proofread For Your Reading Enjoyment

Happy National Proofreading Day! Before this post is published today, I'm hoping my wonderful wife (the Master of Editing Disaster: an official title) will have time to proofread it. I usually read through my posts at least a couple of times before publishing, but my limited understanding of English grammar rules only help me catch a few mistakes. As a kid, teachers would always tell you to proofread your work, and that's great and all unless you don't understand what you did wrong. Yes, I'm admitting to being a complete English reject that's married to an English wizard. Opposites attract. Without people like me, editors would be out of work. Fact. So, you're welcome. (I'm going to get punched for that.) Now, this doesn't mean I don't try. I really do bust my ass trying to figure out all my mistakes but, like I said, "limited understanding." If you're writing today, try not to sound like a complete asshole and proofread your work, but if you suck at it, like me, get yourself an editor to help.
Hi. My name is...Name Tag Day! I have no clue where this holiday came from and neither does the internet, but odds are it was the people at the "Hi. My name is..." sticker company and their fellow competitors. Tricky. Well, not really. It's not covention season, so the sticker companies are pretty desperate to boost sales. Fuck them. Get your own sticker, write your name on it (of course), and wear it proudly today. There really isn't much more to say...umm...moving on.
Happy International Women's Day! Hey ladies! Sorry. I'm terrified to say anything remotely sexist today for fear of lynching. Women's Day started in 1909 following a declaration by the Socia...wait. What? The Socialist Party of America? Oh shit. Really? Eh, who cares? The theme of this year's IWD is Empower Women-End Hunger and Poverty. Fuckin' a. Women rock. My wife rocks. My mother rocks. My sister rocks. I'm not ashamed to admit that most men would probably be lost without the women in their lives. Face it, guys. Be sure to tell the women in your life how much they mean to you today. Girl power! (Will I get punched for that?) Cheers!