Buddy McNutty Loves E-Reading About Women's History

 Howdy, kiddos! It's your old pal, Buddy McNutty, here to wish you a Happy Peanut Month Observance Day! Garsh! Do you love peanuts as much as I do? If not, let me sing you a little song I wrote about how great peanuts are. Ahem...
Ohhhh in 1916 George Washington Carver said,
If you don't eat peanuts you'll be dead
A peanut really isn't a nut, it's a legume like beans
That look likes your butt
If you suffer from arachibutryophobia
You're afraid of getting peanut butter stuck in your mouth
As broke as we Americans are
We spend 800 mill a year on jars...of peanut butter!
If you'd like to hear more of my awesome peanut song or play games about peanuts go to my website buddymcnutty.com. Now, if you still don't like peanuts or peanut butter then Buddy McNutty says, "Go nut yourself!" (The views of Buddy McNutty do not represent A Thousand Holidays Blog or it's parent companies.)
Happy Read An E-Book Week Observance Day! Wait...reading? Geez. It's an e-book so it should like read it to me, right? Isn't that the point of technology? Fucking hippies and their books. (I'm getting punched.) I shouldn't hate on books and their E cousins. Books are important and stuff and e-books are important and stuff and technological. So, yeah. What's up now, paper? I'm going to read an e-book today and burn a paper book to keep me warm. (Probably won't burn a book unless we have a copy of Twilight laying around.)
Our final celebration today is Women's History Month Observance Day! Hey, ladies! I don't mean to start this with an insult but is there a men's history month? (I'm getting punched.) Men have had it too easy, especially white men, so women deserve all the recognition and celebration that we can give them. Today we should all learn about women's history, read books or watch movies about empowering women, and if you're a white man (like me) just continually apologize for being so. Here is an example, "Good morning, honey. Would you like some coffee? I'm sorry for being a white man." Be sure that today and everyday you show women the respect they deserve and remember to keep apologizing. Women rock! Cheers!