Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Won't You Be My Neighbor, Little Green Alien Frog Thing?

Happy Won't You Be My Neighbor Day! Happy Birthday Mr. Rogers! How fitting that my wife and I are preparing to move into our first house together and today is all about being neighborly...and wearing cardigans. I'm ready to slap on a smile, button up my favortie cardigan, and treat the world as my neighbor. And I'm not just being a smart ass about wearing the sweater. The official site for WYBMND suggests wearing a sweater while being neighborly to all those around you. So...boom. I loved watching Mr. Rogers show as a kid and always wanted to meet him, sadly I never got the chance. Mr. Rogers was such a bad ass with his own magical kingdom, a giant aquarium, and his own street light. You know he stole that street light, right? Bad. Ass. I should try to re-enact the intro for Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, while lip syncing the song and wearing the Fred Rogers uniform: Cardigan, button up, tie, slacks, and boat shoes (Chucks will do). Remember to treat everyone as your neighbor today, as Fred Rogers did, and maybe we can make this "global community" we live in actually feel like a community.
Holy shit...it's...it's...Extraterrestrial Abduction Day! What's with all the probing? Are you ready to be beamed up to the mothership and have your internals become your externals for the advancement of alien science? I'm guessing this holiday comes from some nutball in a bunker in the middle of New Mexico with a severe case of paranoia. I've never seen a UFO in person but I hope to one day as long as that fucker doesn't take me with it. I have a fear of heights...and probing. So, today keep a look out for little green men and b...oh shit. What is that? Oh God, it's a...frog!
Happy World Frog Day! (Can anyone say segue?) It's fun to talk about Kermit and "Bein' Green" today but first I want to mention why this holiday exists. The sad truth is is that many frogs and amphibians of all kinds are going through tough times due to habitat loss, pollution, and changing climate. On this first day of Spring let's recognize that every creature on this planet has its place and what we do everyday can affect an animal living on the other side of the Earth. We don't own this world and once everyone realizes that then maybe we can really start changing the way we live. Think about the frogs! Who can honestly say they hate frogs? "Oh, frogs, they can go fuck themselves." No one says that! Don't let Kermit die because you can't pick up your fucking trash. It's frogicide and that won't be tolerated in our Muppet loving world. I may sound like a complete loon but I'm being serious when I tell you to think about how your life impacts the world. Save the frogs, save the world! Cheers!

2 comments:

  1. Do I really have to be neighborly to the mf-ers in our current apartment complex? Really? Say it isn't so!
    And isn't it coincidental that news of Michael Bay's newest atrocity has to do with both amphibians and aliens has surfaced today? Lol I know it's turtles, not frogs, but close enough!
    And, go frogs!

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Frogging" is the process of ripping out part or all of a knitting or crochet project. "Rip it out" sounds like "ribbit out" and that's how it got its name. Trufax.

    ReplyDelete