Happy Freedom of Information Day! Happy Birthday James Madison! You might wonder how these two are connected but it's really quite simple. Ahem...as I said before it's Madison's birthday and he is recognized as the "Father of the Constitution" and was chief author of the Bill of Rights. Freedom of information as well as individual rights were extremely important to him and so today, March 16, was chosen to celebrate the 1966 signing of the Freedom of Information Act. Boom. There you have it. This is a law which is supposed to make our government more transparent through full or partial disclosure of previously unreleased information and documents controlled by the U.S government. It was actually signed into law by LBJ on July 4, 1966. How cute. I know this law has been somewhat beneficial but how helpful is a released document when only the conjunctions aren't blacked out? Fuckin' Feds. Take some time today and see what kind of unreleased documents you can uncover, my little super sleuths.
Speaking of investigations and such I'd like to wish you a Happy Sherlock Holmes Weekend Observance! Coming to you from Cape May, NJ it's the bi-annual event in which a Holme's mystery is acted out all over town , with guests invited to search for clues and watch the events unfold in person. This actually sounds like a lot of fun, too bad it's in New Jersey. Bleh. (Sorry, Doug.) The only thing I wouldn't enjoy about this is the awkwardly bad, douchey English accents acted out by those attemtping to be more Victorian. Ugh. Since I can't make it to NJ, and probably never will unless passing through to NYC, I'll have to solve my own mystery today. Hmm...what to solve? What to solve? Who's been eating the Nutella? Who keeps stickering the apartment complex? Who killed Col. Mustard in the study with a candle stick? I'll get back to you when more develops.
Our final celebration today is St. Urho's Day! Who needs St. Patrick when you've got the Finnish legend St. Urho? Snakes. Ha! Try grasshoppers, bitch. That's right I said grasshoppers. St. Urho is said to have driven all of the grasshoppers out of ancient Finland and thus saving all the grape crop and jobs of the vineyard workers. This was all done by St. Urho yelling the phrase, "Grasshopper, grasshopper go to Hell!" OK, enough of this silliness. After reading I'm pretty sure that this was made up in the 1950's by a bunch of bored, cold and drunk Minnesotans who probably hated Irish and wanted their own holiday to celebrate. Seriously. Three main reasons why I've concluded this holiday is bullshit. First of all, Finland has grape crops and wine? Secondly, this holiday just happens to be celebrated the day before St. Patrick's Day. And C, this holiday actually originated in Minnesota and is now making its way to Finland, where it supposedly originated. I call shenanigans! But, hey, most of my holidays are shit anyways and I'm here to shed light on the shit. I must get some grapes and celebrate! Maybe I'll wear a little purple and green. Probably not. Forget St. Patrick and celebrate St. Urho. His name is a lot funnier anyways. Cheers!
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