Happy Freelance Writers Appreciation Day! Freelancers, independent contractors, alcoholics, whatever you choose to call them today is the day to say, "you're the fucking Rockzilla of Writing." Freelancers can be writers with their own work needing published or writing for others, as an independent or company agent. I am lucky enough to live with an amazing freelancer, my wife, and have needed her writing services on many occasions to cover up the fact that I'm like a gorilla with a pen when it comes to professional writing. (A blog is like digital monkey vomit and doesn't count as professional.) Freelance writers are mostly underpaid, underappreciated, and usually treated like underwear left catching all the shit from "the boss." Take some time today and find ways to thank the freelance writers in your life. Scotch, gin, vodka, or just a thank you and an overly extended, near creepy hug should do the trick. My wife is not an alcoholic and I will most likely get punched for that joke. (Most of them really are drunks, though.)
Get your hands on a freelancer's book, get nude, and bust out the Mr. Bubble because it's Read In The Bathtub Day! I guess you don't have to be nude but jeans take so long to dry out and shoes even longer or you could keep the tub dry but then being nude would be just weird. Whichever way you decide to celebrate just be sure to have the most important part of the equation present: the fucking book. This holiday was invented by the We Love Danielle Steel A Little Too Much For It To Be Healthy Fan Club Association of America (WLDSALTMFITBHFCAA) in 1991, being the most preferred method of reading Steel books, they really didn't need a specific day to read in the tub. But can you really argue with these ladies and one guy? Warm water, a wine cooler or seven, nudity, and a book. It's a fucking win-win. I'll be celebrating and probably posting pixelated pictures. Once more for good measure...nudity.
Before getting nude maybe you should celebrate the Feast Of St. Maron. Yay! Exciting. This is a national holiday observed in Lebanon being that St. Maron was the Mike Tyson of converting Lebanese Pagans into Christians, knocking the sin right out of them, during the 4th and 5th Centuries. A missionary, mystic, and later in life a mountain hermit, Maron was said to have converted a whole mountain temple to Catholicism and thus began the spread of Christianity in Lebanon. This guy, this fucking guy (insert Boston accent) was so popular that he got his own sect of Catholicism known as the Maronite Catholic Church, which has produced more than 20 saints, and still carries a large following of believers in Maron's teachings and message. So tonight have a feast in honor of St. Maron with Lebanese dishes including: Tabbouleh, Kibbe Nayye, or just a salad. (They really aren't too picky.)
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