The ZZ Top Of Holidays

On this day in 1733 Gen. James Edward Oglethorpe and 100 men landed on what is now Savannah, Georgia and to commemorate their arrival we celebrate Oglethorpe Day! The founder of Savannah, organizer, and first Governor of the colony, under King George II, today is also marked as Georgia Day. Georgia is known as the Peach State or the Empire State of The South (sure it is), it was one of the thirteen original colonies and also one of the original seven Confederate states. (They are all about the band wagon.) But enough about the Dirty South, let's bring this back to the first O.G...lethorpe. I've found out he was a leading humanitarian and fought to imrpove conditions for men in the Royal Navy and for the rights and treatment of debtors in prison and for the poor of Great Britain. With all these interesting facts I'm really not sure how to celebrate today. I could listen to 'Georgia On My Mind' repeatedly, maybe partake in some southern cuisine, or maybe, an even better idea, organize and found my own colony in the name of King Adrian I! Yes! Hmm...names. Adriania? No. Superrockandrollexplosionland? Awesome but no. Megaland? Eh...no. I'll think of something and get back to you.
Happy Darwin Day! Happy Birthday Charles Robert Darwin! Exclamation point! Naturalist, evolutionist, scientist, and many other -ists, Darwin...you know what? If you don't know who Darwin is, well, maybe evolution just decided to take a little skip. I'm not trying to be an asshole but I don't want to just spew out more of the same, tired information about birds, The Beagle, and apes. Basically, this guy waas fucking rad. He changed the landscape of science and without him we wouldn't have or most valued form of recognition in society today; The Darwin Awards.
Finally, it's Abraham Lincoln's birthday! Hey, look at that, Lincoln was born on the same day and the same year, 1809, as Charles Darwin. Two revolutionary, or in Darwin's case evolutionary (wakka wakka), men born on the same day worlds apart that would have lasting and most importantly positive effects on mankind. The 16th President and all-around ass kicker, Abraham Lincoln, was one of the greatest voices against slavery and without him the country we know and occasionally love today may have never come to be. To better understand this great man here are some facts about Lincoln that you may not know. He was not a vampire hunter but a "day walker". Underneath his famous beard he had the words "Sex Grenade" tattooed on his cheeks but historians have not discovered the meaning behind this yet. Lincoln would occasionally wear platforms to make himself seem even more imposing when going up against political rivals. And, finally, by the time he was in his late 40's Lincoln already held twelve patents for variations of stovepipe hats. Take some time today and celebrate the life and leadership of Abraham Lincoln, and to remember that his life was taken for his beliefs.