Kahlua And Polar Bears: It's A No Brainer.

Well, it seems the drunks get their way again. Happy National Kahlua Day! I shouldn't bitch because Kahlua is one of the essentials in creating the greatest drink ever bestowed upon mankind by His Dudeness: the White Russian. Created in 1936 by Senor Bianco when he added coffee beans to a liqueur recipe originally formulated by the Alvarez brothers (I have no clue who the Alvarez brothers are.) but it wasn't until 1962 that Kahlua would be refined and imported into the U.S. (Took long enough.) Now, many people would give you recipes for drinks and baked goods that include Kahlua to help celebrate today but I'm not going to do that. I'm a pioneer. I'm a loner, Dottie. A Rebel. What I will do is inform you of some secret Kahlua facts that "the man" doesn't want you to know. Firs............... and that's why you should never give an elephant Kahlua. I hope you kids learned a lot today. Now, go forth and drink. It's a no brainer. His Dudeness, The Dude, Duder, or if you're not into the whole brevity thing El Duderino, commands you.
RAWR it's International Polar Bear Day! My original plan to celebrate was to have an educational polar bear encounter at the zoo but without even an email reply I was rejected. I would have really appreciated even the "It's not going to happen because you're probably some nutball with a polar bear fetish. Who just wants to get naked and have the bear "wrestle" with you." email but no. Nothing. Nada. Fuckers. Why couldn't I just throw the bear a piece of fucking fish? Maybe throw it a new toy. Even just check out its indoor living area that the public never gets to see. Something. I'm sad. I think polar bears are awesome but I'm not some dumbshit. I know they're dangerous and powerful animals and I have complete respect for that but I could've done something. Do you think I want to lose an arm? No. Now, I shouldn't take away from International Polar Bear Day with my bitching any longer. Instead I should be telling you why this day is celebrated. Through CO2 emissions and global warming polar bears are losing their natural habitat as ice breaks earlier every year and many get stranded or starve to death. What everyone needs to do is look into ways they can reduce their carbon emissions because it's not too late to reverse the damage done and save the polar bears. If you want information on ways you can help or if you wish to donate please go to: www.polarbearsinternational.org It's a no brainer.
Our final celebration of the day is No Brainer Day! Don't think. Just do. Most people shouldn't have a hard time with this. Should I go into further detail on this holiday? No. It's a no brainer. Cheers!

P.S. I apologize for yesterday's lack of post but, hey, even your fearless Holiday Hero needs a break from writing some mornings. I'm sure all three of you weren't too affected by this.