Today is jam packed with amazing, so let's get this holiday train rolling with our first holiday. It's Gambian Independence Day! On this day in 1965 Gambia officially gained its full independence from Britain after an Act of Parliament went into operation on Dec. 17, 1964. Gambia was the first African nation conquered by the Brits and the last to gain independence after 300 years of colonial rule and 5pm tea times. Enough of the niceties, now here is some fucked up info about The Gambia: Over 78% of the country's girls and women have suffered female genital mutilation. 1 in 49 women die from pregnancy or during childbirth due to the lack of midwives, about 5 to every 1,000 women. About a third of the population lives below the international poverty line of US$1.25 per day. The one positive and honsetly surprising thing being Gambia has had a relatively stable government for the last 50 years with only brief military rule in 1994. (Really fucking surprising.) I've learned quite a bit already in a short amount of time this morning and plan on reading more today to try and understand what the fuck is wrong with these people. And maybe I'll shoot a gun in the air. Is that ignorant? Probably.
Time to bring a little levity oatmeal for your morning read. Today is the Great Backyard Bird Count! Woohoo! Wait. What the fuck is that? You count birds. Seriously, that's it? It's a "fun" way to help study bird populations by taking a tally of species in your area and then reporting it back to the Cornell Lab of Ornithology. The GBBC actually spans this whole weekend and you can spend as little as 15mins, or if you're drinking you could spend hours, taking a count of the birds within your view. Than by reporting back your numbers to the GBBC page the Cornell Lab hopes to answer important population and migration questions. I want to help the birdies so I've got my local form downloaded for this afternoon's count and I suggest you do the same. Do it. Now. I'm not fucking kidding. Go. Are we going to have a problem? I didn't think so. Moving on.
If you get tired of counting the birds than go eat some eggs (I know it's wrong.) and celebrate Festum Ovorum! The Festum Ovorum, also known as the Egg Feast or Egg Saturday, comes from the University of Oxford and is always the Saturday before Ash Wednesday. It was written about in the late 16th Century as the last day when bachelors would be allowed to determine (complete course work) during the university year and when completed they would go to the neighboring colleges and prepare egg meals for the other senior bachelors. The Oxford calendar is the only place this holiday can be found and probably refers to some local pre-Lent and Easter customs of the period but it's not conclusive. Even these brainy bastards aren't sure where their fucking holiday comes from but no matter. Just go eat some fucking eggs and if you are vegan than have some Egg Beaters or whatever the fuck you're allowed to eat. (That's not meant to be an insult I'm just and ignorant prick.)
Celebration numero quatro is Drink Wine Day! I thought I just celebrated this on Tuesday which was St. Trifon's Day but you're all a bunch of drunks and can't get enough. After some research no one seems to have information about where this day was started but they sure want to make suggestions about which wine you should be drinking. Who cares? Drink whatever the hell you want. Pop the cork on a '78 Montrachet, unscrew your Arbor Mist, or pull that awkward little spigot on the Franzia and imbibe. I'm not a big fan of wine, mainly for the headache I receive after, but today I'll put that aside, pop an extra ibuprofen and "enjoy" my half glass of the best wine $7 can buy. Some of you may say, "Well you get the headache from cheap wine!" Nope. It's all wine so why waste more money? Sidenote: My wife loves Arbor Mist but that's not a bad thing. Wine experts have said that everyone's natural wine tastes vary and if you enjoy a cheaper wine than fucking enjoy it. (I'm paraphrasing but you get the point.) Now, go forth and let the wine flow like the rivers of Asgard. Cheers!
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