Happy National Margarita Day! That's right, drunkies, you get another reason to drink! Woohoo! Booze! Ah, the margarita, invented sometime in the 1930's or 1940's by...well, it's still under debate and several places claim to be the originator. We do know that the frozen margarita was invented in the 1970's when an extremely inventive bartender converted a soft serve ice cream machine to make the first frozen margaritas. Also known as God's gift to lightweights, the margarita has been helping people, mostly women, that don't like the taste of booze get wasted for nearly 70 years and is probably responsible for many surprise pregnancies. (I'm not being sour, honestly, the previous statement is fact...according to me.) Now, I'm not a fan of margaritas but no worries because a bottle of pre-mix was purchased and I plan on partaking tonight. It's hump day and who couldn't use an adult beverage, that tastes like candy, to help ease the mid week stresses. Go and drink! Now! (Well, maybe not right now being only 8am but it is five o'clock somewhere.)
Alright, not to be a bummer but it is Ash Wednesday. Do margaritas fit into fasting? If not, they do now. I've been debating if I should fast today and having only liquid this morning it's still a possibility. How many Catholics actually still fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday? I'm guessing not many and that makes me want to do it even more. If God has given you so much, can't you give him a couple days a year without food? Actually, in the Catholic fasting rules you can have one full meal that day. So...it's not REALLY fasting. I don't plan on going to a church and receiving ashes so fasting might be the next best thing. Take that Sunday Catholics. Fasting is said to make you more alert and aware of your surroundings, which in a roundabout way makes it easier for you to connect with God or pass out. Whichever comes first. Can I be completely honest and slightly paranoid for a second? I've noticed, in the past, folks that come into work or school in the morning with their ashes already make it a point of pride. Like, "Look at me and my ashes. It's 8:30am and I have mine already. I'm better than you. When are you getting your's? Oh, after work. *nods head* Guess you're not THAT devout." Was that paranoid? Maybe. So, if you are Catholic, go get your ashes now and be sure to proudly display them in the office for all those Sunday Catholics to see. Moving on.
I've saved the best and closest to my heart of today's holidays for last. Happy Ginger Awareness Day! That's right, planet Earth, today you must bow to your soulless ginger overlords. MUAHAHAHAHAHA! This is what the Emperor must feel like everyday. But, honestly, you shouldn't fear the ginger. We don't want to eat your souls, we could, but we won't. We just want to be accepted as normal members of society and not seen as outsiders just because of our pigmentation. As a small kid I hated my hair color and more so when every old lady I encountered told me how beautiful it was. This was followed by a vigorous rubbing of my hair as if it held some magical powers that brought about youth. Not gonna happen, Gam Gam. But as I've gotten older I've become more fond of my hair color and how it sets me apart from most people. I'm proud to be a ginger. If you're a ginger and sitting at home right now with a bottle of Black No.1 in your hand, getting ready to dye that shit up, STOP! Be proud god damn it! Go out in the world today and let that glorious, ginger hair shine for all to see. But after today I'd suggest going back into seclusion, as all gingers do, until next Febrauary 22. Cheers!
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