Today's holidays are educational, joyful, and extremely sequinsed. Starting off with Ice Cream For Breakfast Day! Fuck yeah! Went to the store last night specifically to buy ice cream for today and ended up buying Stephen Colbert's AmeriCone Dream for the first time. I just finished eating it...Jesus Chrsit on a crutch is that good. There's nothing like spooning down 15g of fat and 270 calories of frozen joy to really fire you up on a Saturday morning. (That sounds gross. Whatever.) There have been findings that suggest some form of ice cream was served as early as 200 B.C. in China and it's known that the Romans would mix mountain ice/snow with fruit toppings in the early 1st Century A.D. Wherever or whenever this holiday comes from, and I believe only Buddha or Jesus could have thought of something so glorious, makes no difference. Brew up a cup of coffee, turn on the news, and dive into a fresh pint/gallon/bucket of your favorite frozen treat and tell that diet to go take a fucking hike for a few hours.
Now to get educational on you with national Libraries Day! This is a U.K. holiday that basically celebrates libraries, the people who work at them, and you, the library user. Having been around for nearly 4,000 years the idea of a library or archive was and is a way to pass knowledge down. This is an amazing resource that in recent years has lost many of its young users to the internet. (Fucking technology. As I write this digitally. Fucking hypocrite.) Declining numbers were only bumped up by the shite economy we live in as many people used the library as a movie rental facility instead of putting some knowledge in their brain bowls. Funding can be a struggle for libraries and as many are closed we're letting this wonderful resource slip through our Dorito fingers. The old neighborhood libraries are being consolidated into central locations and in major cities a walk to the library has now become an Anglo-Saxon epic journey. Even if we aren't in the land of the Queen, take today, Americans, and appreciate your library and the people that work to keep them running. Hug a book, hug a librarian, or just sit alone caressing your library card. (Just not it public.)
Today's third and most fabulous celebration is Liberace Day! As I've been writing this post Liberace has been sexing my ears with his magical plinking of the keys. Watching some of his performance video even today I can understand why he was so hugely popular. A true showman and a skilled musician, Liberace could make your eyeballs wet with his classical playing or have you laughing at his insane gestures while performing Boogie Woogie. Also, who gives two fucks if he was gay or not? (He was.) If that changes your opinion of the man than you're a simpleton and completely ignorant. (Sorry to harsh your mellow.) If it wasn't for Liberace we wouldn't have Elton John, it would still be frowned upon for a man to wear sequins in his daily routine, and the candlelabra would be no more. Put some Liberace on today while you clean, or while you eat your ice cream breakfast, or, if you're like me, while you bathe by the light of a candlelabra.
P.S. I apologize for the use of fuck so much in today's fucking post but I'm in the fucking mood to say fuck. Fudge.
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